White coat. Heels.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
