I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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