He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm at about main and main street
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
