Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize