At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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