You're my little dorito
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize