Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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