Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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