it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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