He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
