he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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