I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
