How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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