You made me cry and you don't even care
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
