Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
