Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
