One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i love accidental penises.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
