just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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