I'm going to jail i love you
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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