My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
