Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My vagina is officially offended.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?