The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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