This girl is more easily done than said...
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
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Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
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This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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