We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
