Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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