I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
