I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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