I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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