i barfeds in our rink
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize