Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize