I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
