i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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