I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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