I can tuck mytits in my pants
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
