Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
