Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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