i permit you to call me
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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