I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
