I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I party with great urgency now.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
