so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
