Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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