Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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