you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
