I bet he comes in French.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
