i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
