But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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