i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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