She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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