Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
