yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
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Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
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I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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