no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
ugly people sure do ruin things
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think I just sharted jello shots
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
