I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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