The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
