I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
