I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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