I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
