Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
