I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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