hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
