Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
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After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
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In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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