I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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