I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
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