Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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