I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
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I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
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For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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