Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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