I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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