so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
